Helen Ellis

Helen Ellis, researcher and author, is a veteran of distance parenting and grandparenting. She is the founder of DistanceFamilies.com.

In 2020, Helen completed her master’s degree, with a thesis titled: “How is distance grandparenting for you? A study of long-haul New Zealand distance grandparents and inter-generational transnational familying.”

Through her research, Helen discovered that mainstream global resources for intergenerational families separated by geography were limited. Motivated to fill this gap, she embarked on creating a three-book series — each edition exploring the lived experiences of a different generation, alongside gentle practical guidance.

Why three books? Helen explains that much goes unsaid between generations due to limited time and opportunities. Feelings of guilt, grief, and frustration can surface, whether you are the generation left at home or the ‘away’ generation. Each generation’s perspective is distinct and deserves its own space to be heard.

In 2021, Helen published Being a Distance Grandparent, followed in 2022 by Being a Distance Son or Daughter. The series concludes with the recently released Being a Distance Grandchild.

Across all three books, readers will find heartfelt and sincere messages:

• Distance doesn’t automatically make relationships distant
• With intentionality, intergenerational connections can thrive despite the miles
• Understanding the experiences of the other generations fosters empathy — and empathy is essential for distance families

Emeritus Professor Paul Spoonley, New Zealand’s leading expert on how immigration shapes culture, demographics, and communities, says of Helen’s latest book:

“When generations of the same family are geographically distant, how can relationships and connectivity be maintained, and even maximised? Helen aims to ‘inform and inspire’ and she has certainly achieved both. This topic needs more attention, and this book is an important contribution to our understanding.”

Helen’s series is a thoughtful resource for anyone navigating the challenges and joys of intergenerational distance — offering insight, understanding, and hope for families separated by geography.

Being a Distance Grandparent – a Book for ALL Generations

Helen Ellis

Non-Fiction • Family Relationships

Is your family geographically scattered? Has globalisation made your family a Distance Family? This book tells the candid story of how Distance Parents and Distance Grandparents struggle – and succeed – to adapt to their new reality. This isn’t family life as they had imagined it.

If you are a Distance Parent or Distance Grandparent, all those how, why and what-if questions will find answers in these pages. You’ll realise, perhaps for the first time, that you’re not alone on your journey. Helen Ellis, researcher, writer, anthropologist and a New Zealand veteran of Distance Grandparenting, examines everything from smart ways of tweaking your communication routines to tips for nourishing precious family relationships. These moving stories will soothe and inspire you, and more importantly, help you embrace your ever-changing Distance Family role.

Are you a Distance Family daughter, son or grandchild living a globalised life? Do you worry about the folks back home? Is that you? Taking time to learn about Distance Familying from your parent’s or grandparent’s perspective is a heartfelt act of love.

With knowledge comes understanding…
with understanding comes empathy…
and that is a good thing for Distance Families.

 Being a Distance Grandparent – a Book for ALL Generations will make a difference to your Distance Family. The first part of a three-book series.

Being a Distance Son or Daughter – a Book for ALL Generations

Helen Ellis

Non-Fiction • Family Relationships

What is it truly like being a son or daughter who leaves home to live in an expat/migrant setting? How does it feel to be geographically separated from your parents, grandparents and other family members? Maybe you’ve left home for your studies, your career, a sense of adventure, for a challenge, for love. But how do you venture forth into your global world and still retain and nourish connections with ‘home’, always knowing “it was my choice to leave”?

Researcher, anthropologist and founder of DistanceFamilies.com, Helen Ellis, shares ideas, resources and stories to arm readers with the wisdom to maintain rich and fulfilling relationships with their Distance Family. You’ll come away refreshed and rebooted knowing that you can all be close – despite the distance.

If you are a parent, grandparent or extended family member living back home, are you proud and graciously accepting of your family’s move or do you harbour feelings of resentment? All reactions and emotions are normal. This book will make a difference to your Distance Family.

With knowledge comes understanding
With understanding comes empathy
And empathy is a good thing for Distance Families

Being a Distance Son or Daughter – a Book for ALL Generations is the second edition of a three-book series.

Being a Distance Grandchild – a Book for ALL Generations

Helen Ellis

non-fiction • Family Relationships

This book answers a question that has never been asked before: “How is it, or how was it, being a Distance Grandchild?”

 When generations of a family are spread across countries and continents, it changes everything – relationships, roles, identity and connection. Being a Distance Grandchild explores what it means to grow up away from grandparents and extended family, giving voice to those who live between homes, cultures and time zones.

 Crafted with insight, warmth and purpose, this book, written by a New Zealander, is part of a series dedicated to building empathy across the generations of globally scattered families. It helps grandparents, parents and grandchildren understand each other’s realities – sometimes obvious, often subtle and frequently unspoken.

 Educators, counsellors, HR professionals, military personnel, NGOs, diplomatic staff, missionary organisations, government agencies, and relocation experts – anyone working in global mobility – will also find valuable perspective in these pages. Because behind every international move is a network of family ties that need care and understanding.

With knowledge comes understanding…
With understanding comes empathy…
And empathy is a good thing for Distance Families.

 Being a Distance Grandchild – A Book for ALL Generations is the last of three in the insightful Distance Families Book Series.

“It’s very, very thorough.”

– Kathryn Ryan, RNZ